I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My dick has a subreddit
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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