There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
