if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
