You're so nebulous sometimes
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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