The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
