That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
