I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
