dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
