she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
