Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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