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• (212): View more from New York

  Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  hah, sarcasm, classic

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

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• (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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• (714): View more from California

  I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.

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• (858): View more from California

  They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.

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• (714): View more from California

  Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  He's old enough to be your father!

  (714): View more from California

  REALLY. BIG. DICK.

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