Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
