grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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