hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
