when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
