Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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