Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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