this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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