you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
