Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Alive.
So much puke
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize