he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Green mimosas i think yes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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