his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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