If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
