im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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