The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
