found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize