was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
