"it" just moved
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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