I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
