You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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