We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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