Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
