Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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