The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
