508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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