Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
