How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
