You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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