No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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