i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
