This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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