id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
