the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
