you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize