why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
