I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize