just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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