when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
