the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
