People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize