I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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