tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
