he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
