You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize