Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
