You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
