so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
