Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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