I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
